FML!!!!!!!! F*** MY STUPID LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A**H***LIC LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T I JUST TREAT THAT NOTHING HAD HAPPENED BEFORE.

is it tat difficult to forget one's past? i need the girl i like to help forget the past but she keep on telling me to go and find it back. i seriously very sick of all thsi things already, feel like ending my life pretty soon. maybe after MYE? or earlier? haha... never like a girl so hard before in my life, jio for 2yrs, 2yrs of good memories, i seriously don't want to end like that. he just walk in and stead with her. whats that man. i dan=mn bu4 gan1 xin1 sia. but what to do, if she's happy, y not? thought of stabbing him before but i can't. the moment think of the sight which she will be sad if he is dead, it hurts. thought of ending my life with a jump, but how will my parents feel? the sight of them crying and moaning will make my heartache. so what can i do? bottle everything up, until today. the things i am bottling up are overflowing, the bottle cannot hold it anymore longer, its seriousdly overflowing. wanted to challenge him to a duel, cause i seriously damn bu4 shuang3 already, after that time i didn't manage to whack him, i had been keeping it down, i think i cannot hold it much longer. but how to challene hime without her knowing? thats a challenge. and what will she feel or do when she knows i challenged him. this is very drama. a guy fighting for a girl with a stead. challenging the stead is what i can do. i can only to that. i tio dao-ed by her, that leave a deep cut, i cannot give him a good bashing cause she stopped me, thats another deep cut. thats the two things i will never forget. maybe monday i will fight him out in the toilet like what i saw. a life and death match. she is the one that i have been jio-ing, compressed my anger for a damn long period of time. lower secondary is the happiest period of my life. hahaha. laughing sadly. holding back tears, i promised myself i wouldn't drop a tear again in my secondary life. i have to do that. is either the guy get lost or prepare for a fight. but i guess that clever dude wouldn't fight with me, too clever to be tricked, the only way and the fastest way is to drag him into the toilet and send some punches straight into his face. and if his stead want to hate me, she can. i will even prepare a knife for her if she want to stab me straight in the heart, i will say that i stabbed myself. To The Girl I Like At The Present: Z, i am sorry that i said the above things. the moment i start typing the above things out, i am prepared for the worst. i don't like her anymore le. i will yi1 xin1 yi2 yi4 dui4 dai4 ni3 de4. i will wait for your birthday to come, and no matter what reply u give me, will accept it and start a journey of waiting for you if the reply i am going to to get is a negative one. now me and her are just good friends, very good friends i hope. hahaha. hope that the friendship will last forever. hahaha. LOVE YOU Z!!!!!
about the above mention whacking and bashing up stuffs like that is what i thought of in the past, immaturity and pure childish. if that day does come, wish i think i wouldn't make it come, you can have the rights to disown me, most likely you will as i am nothing to you just a friend. to be frank, i said this type of things, cause i got this type of thinking. i got this type of thinkings are because of what i had experience in my sec 3 life. a 2 year friendship just end like that without any notice, he just wouldn't want to reply my sms, going to try to say hi to him face to face next monday, hope can get back our friendship. didn't know that friendship can be that weak, i used to trust in friends, as in all my friends, more than i trust my family members, but i guess from what i had experience proved me wrong. who can i trust other than my parents? i still trust my friends a lot now, but to those who hurt me before, i am sorry that i need to put up a thin layer of protection against you all. and good friend of mine, you are not part of the 'you all' , i have very around five good friends? you all know who you are. but got 1 good friend number 1, hahaha, i think she know who she is, i trust her 100%, totally no doubts at all. and Z, i wouldn't turn back and continue about my past, i will keep walking forward and look at the positive sid of live till the day i die. after this post, i will carry on with my life and things wouldn't be that bad after all. i will be happy :D :D :D :D :D :D and i never drop any tears whileposting this post, however i almost did, but thinking of Z, and for Z, i need to be strong like her! lets stay strong together!!!!! i am a light bulb and you are only energy source that suits me, no other energy source is suitable for me, you lit my day up everyday, without you is like a body without soul.

after this post i will be happy again!!!! going to carry on my lower secong=dary life again!!!!!!!!!! happy happy HAPPY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZHAPPYOHAPPYEHAPPYEHAPPY LOVE YOU LOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!