Napfa! Ahhhh! Screwed Up Today's 2.4! ):

Woke up quite early today, actually is normal time lah. Hahaha. Went to shop and save to buy a bottle of 1.5litre of blueberry tea, preparing to tank in school. Very tired throughout the whole day, see wrong timetable, but the lessons around the same, so still okay. Lol. Then survive until very tough. But want to know who gave me the spirit and support? Hahaha. Don't tell me you all don't know hor. Nevermind, the person is Z! Text her during school time(: Finally school is over already, drank the energy drink called Shark. Kind of suck when compared with redbull. But still not bad lah. Went to lt1 for briefing, in the end drag for 2hrs, don't know what to do. Went to do chin up, and learn some tricks from ah-Da! Hahaha. And to WT, no matter what happens, he still loves you de, I can grantee that. So don't do anything harsh kay? Lol. And Z, when you reach home, go apply medicine on wounds kay? Oh, still have, if the headache still don't go, you know what to do right? Lol. Pardon me for being naggy lurh. Hahaha. Rest early tonight, cause today we got napfa and I bet you are tired. So rest early! Love you lots Z!

MYE! I Don't Care For Now(:

Mye is around the corner, and I haven't even started revising any subject yet. Hahaha. Going to start today, promise myself that. Lol. A lot of things happened this week, don't want to say much, but everytime I hear people say that life is drama or something is drama, to me, drama always comes with a happy ending. Worrying is just part of the process of getting the happiness. And from what I had learnt from my english teacher, its the journey that we should enjoy, learn and mature from, not the destination that we need to care about. So what's the past, let it be the history, what's in the future is what I really want to get and what you all want to get. No point turning back if you are the one who ice chose to gave up and for every choice I had made, i'm happy with the present me and know what I want for my future(: Still have 1month and 27days! Hahaha

24 APRIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!! another important day to remember!!!!!! hahaha. guess what, went out with Z today lah! hahaha. actually is she don't want to go for emath remedial, then together with WT, we went Ehub! lol. met up with WT there and we are like, oh gosh, WT will scream and kill us! hahaha. she did cream softly, but never kill us lar :D went to buddy hobbies or buddy whatever, i don't know what's the name of he restraunt, we had our lunch there together with V and V's stead. hahaha. saw her stead or the first time ley, too bad if you all know who is V, i bet you all never see before her stead :D not bad lar, quite shuai. lol. then spent an hour or so at the restraunt before going parapara!!!! hahaha. see she play until very ZAI!!!!!!! then i jealous~~~ hahaha. very long never parapara liao, alittle 'rusty' :x but still okay lar :D hahaha. oh forgot to tell you all something, i lied to mum that i got biology and chemistry remedial O: but who cares!!!! i get home in time for dinner time can liao :D today is a wonderful day!!!! Z, u make my day beautiful and happy and WONDERFUL!!!!!! thanks for all these :D hope you enjoyed yourself too. and its a tiring day for you, rest early tonight kay? oh, and i saw your injury by accident. sorry :x go apply lotion when you reach home, at least it won't be that red. important day today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

22 APRIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today went home with Z! hahaha. very happy!!! as in nbot home lar, but somwhere near her hosue. hahaha. though we didn't really chat alot through put the whole trip, but its enjoyable, i do't why too :x and need to thank nic, who is also on the bus, to not come and 'disturb'us. hahaha. then reach home just in time for dinner!!! tell you don't need worry already what, i got home in time just for dinner :D hahaha. erm, i hope we can still be like this in future, like taking the same bus to the interchange, then see you take another bus before i go home. i really wish that i can spend more time with you... so let me accompany you to interchange in future kay? (: and i will always remember this day, the day that i took a bus with Z to the interchange :D first time!!!!! so high~!!!!! hahahaha

FML!!!!!!!! F*** MY STUPID LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A**H***LIC LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T I JUST TREAT THAT NOTHING HAD HAPPENED BEFORE.

is it tat difficult to forget one's past? i need the girl i like to help forget the past but she keep on telling me to go and find it back. i seriously very sick of all thsi things already, feel like ending my life pretty soon. maybe after MYE? or earlier? haha... never like a girl so hard before in my life, jio for 2yrs, 2yrs of good memories, i seriously don't want to end like that. he just walk in and stead with her. whats that man. i dan=mn bu4 gan1 xin1 sia. but what to do, if she's happy, y not? thought of stabbing him before but i can't. the moment think of the sight which she will be sad if he is dead, it hurts. thought of ending my life with a jump, but how will my parents feel? the sight of them crying and moaning will make my heartache. so what can i do? bottle everything up, until today. the things i am bottling up are overflowing, the bottle cannot hold it anymore longer, its seriousdly overflowing. wanted to challenge him to a duel, cause i seriously damn bu4 shuang3 already, after that time i didn't manage to whack him, i had been keeping it down, i think i cannot hold it much longer. but how to challene hime without her knowing? thats a challenge. and what will she feel or do when she knows i challenged him. this is very drama. a guy fighting for a girl with a stead. challenging the stead is what i can do. i can only to that. i tio dao-ed by her, that leave a deep cut, i cannot give him a good bashing cause she stopped me, thats another deep cut. thats the two things i will never forget. maybe monday i will fight him out in the toilet like what i saw. a life and death match. she is the one that i have been jio-ing, compressed my anger for a damn long period of time. lower secondary is the happiest period of my life. hahaha. laughing sadly. holding back tears, i promised myself i wouldn't drop a tear again in my secondary life. i have to do that. is either the guy get lost or prepare for a fight. but i guess that clever dude wouldn't fight with me, too clever to be tricked, the only way and the fastest way is to drag him into the toilet and send some punches straight into his face. and if his stead want to hate me, she can. i will even prepare a knife for her if she want to stab me straight in the heart, i will say that i stabbed myself. To The Girl I Like At The Present: Z, i am sorry that i said the above things. the moment i start typing the above things out, i am prepared for the worst. i don't like her anymore le. i will yi1 xin1 yi2 yi4 dui4 dai4 ni3 de4. i will wait for your birthday to come, and no matter what reply u give me, will accept it and start a journey of waiting for you if the reply i am going to to get is a negative one. now me and her are just good friends, very good friends i hope. hahaha. hope that the friendship will last forever. hahaha. LOVE YOU Z!!!!!
about the above mention whacking and bashing up stuffs like that is what i thought of in the past, immaturity and pure childish. if that day does come, wish i think i wouldn't make it come, you can have the rights to disown me, most likely you will as i am nothing to you just a friend. to be frank, i said this type of things, cause i got this type of thinking. i got this type of thinkings are because of what i had experience in my sec 3 life. a 2 year friendship just end like that without any notice, he just wouldn't want to reply my sms, going to try to say hi to him face to face next monday, hope can get back our friendship. didn't know that friendship can be that weak, i used to trust in friends, as in all my friends, more than i trust my family members, but i guess from what i had experience proved me wrong. who can i trust other than my parents? i still trust my friends a lot now, but to those who hurt me before, i am sorry that i need to put up a thin layer of protection against you all. and good friend of mine, you are not part of the 'you all' , i have very around five good friends? you all know who you are. but got 1 good friend number 1, hahaha, i think she know who she is, i trust her 100%, totally no doubts at all. and Z, i wouldn't turn back and continue about my past, i will keep walking forward and look at the positive sid of live till the day i die. after this post, i will carry on with my life and things wouldn't be that bad after all. i will be happy :D :D :D :D :D :D and i never drop any tears whileposting this post, however i almost did, but thinking of Z, and for Z, i need to be strong like her! lets stay strong together!!!!! i am a light bulb and you are only energy source that suits me, no other energy source is suitable for me, you lit my day up everyday, without you is like a body without soul.

after this post i will be happy again!!!! going to carry on my lower secong=dary life again!!!!!!!!!! happy happy HAPPY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZHAPPYOHAPPYEHAPPYEHAPPY LOVE YOU LOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Happiness = Your Happiness

We hardly chat today face to face sia. Lol. Then about zsqy, you don't need worry about me, I will wait for your reply. Almost break down today cause of that incident. And kind of sad, but now not sad already! Cause now, i'm thinking of the happy moments we spent together. Though its not a lot, but its sufficient for me to think about them(: I want you to be happy, so you don't have to care much about me, when you are happy, I will automatic be happy too! Its like a chain effect for me. And I really won't mind if you chose your friend to me, cause I can be your friend too. So don't be too stress or sad or guilty over these stuffs(: Lets smile together! Laugh together! And spend the time we have for each other happily and memorably! (:

Failure! Am I One? Or Am I Not One?

Need to congratulate Z for her biology test result! CONGRATULATION Z! Hahaha. One week had past already yet my friend still don't want to accept my apology. Haha... Hope he will accept it soon. And tomorrow is my social studies test, suck at it totally. Hahaha. Two days never walk out with Z already, wanted to walk out with her, but she got her other friends to accompany then I need to go home myself. EMO! LONELY! SOLO-ING! I have this type of life style sia. Wish that i'm not alone... Didn't sms much with Z, as her sms exceeded already, tried to chat over the phone, but yea, her friends are with her then kind of inconvenient, and I understand(: So its alright to me. Only meet her in the morning, recess and after school. The happiest part of my everyday is morning! When i'm with her. Hahaha. Thought of getting angry before, but what's the use of getting angry? I might as well use my mind to think of her and the happy moments when I miss her. Will be optimistic no matter what happens(: Guess we won't sms that much until your message is being renewed which is around 2weeks more. Just want to tell you, Z, even if we never sms each other, my love for you won't fade a bit, instead will cherish every moment I spent with you. That will clear your doubt 3months ago. Though didn't tell you tat I miss, but I do, and its every second, every minute. And if I made you angry, pissed and worried in the past, i'm sorry, promise will try not to do it again. About the craps/gossip, I don't what can I do, if you want of to anything, just tell me, I will do my best(:

WHEN I NEVER GET TO CHAT WITH YOU FOR 1DAY, I'M LIKE A LIVING PERSON WITHOUT A SOUL IN IT. BUT MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NOT FADE, BUT INCREASE. I will be waiting for your reply. 2months and 9days to go. Half excited, half nervous. I hope that its a happy ending. But you must follow your heart and soul(: Missing you now, Z! ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): I will try to keep myself occupied in order not to think of you, if not I will break down...

Z, Get Well Soon!

Its quite a tiring week for you too. All those tests and stuffs. Thanks for being by my side when i'm down. Hahaha. Thanks lots!(: you keep on getting headaches, if i'm not wrong, it occurred due to the lack of rest. So rest early at night! And rest well! Sometime I don't know how to make you smile, so I just be by your side and watch you in daze, thinking of things in your mind. Lol. Though I very long never say I miss you during the weekends, but I really miss you alot during the weekends. And my love for you had increase. And its 2months and 13days to go! Hahaha. And drink lots of water, don't eat too much chocolate or sweets if you want your cough to get better faster. Lol. As for your running nose, I not sure how to cure it ley :x Sorry. By the way, I don't case act him le. I ice made my decision, now is his turn to make his. Lol. Get well soon! I love you! Hope the day is tomorrow! Hahaha

Friends To Enemy? Or Friends Forever?

This week had been a long week for me. Hahaha. Lost a friend of two years, just because of my mood. No matter how much I apologise, if just don't want to accept it. If just ignore all my sms-s, send almost 1 sms everyday, and guess what, he called someone to tell me to sms-ing him. Why can't he just tell me himself? I know I had hurt you, but by calling someone else to tell me what you told her, maybe you think that its okay/alright, however, its not. You seriously ended our two years of friendship. I tried my best to get it back, though I failed, at least you can do so if you treat me as a friend. Whatever is being said out from your mouth, you just want me to feel guilty, that's what you always do. As a friend of your for two years, what are some of the .tricks' that you will use to make someone feel guilty is but saying what you don't really meant it from your heart. Though I know it all along, but I still chose to get that friendship back. People may say I'm desperate for friends, however, i'm not. I just don't want to see that our friendship just end like this. You said to me in the toilet that I disappoint you, and how can I say those stuffs to hurt your feeling. As me say the other part of what I think. If you never say Z's name, I won't also say W's name. Throughout the two years, everytime I am woo-ing some girl, and when we quarrell, you will always use the girl's name, I wil feel buay3 song4 inside my heart, but I still carries a smile and continue to 'quarrell' with you, but after the 'quarrell' is done, we are still friends. And I didn't go to the toilet 'to let water come out'(those who know what happened in the toilet, then you will know what I meant already.) I never cry in the midst of a quarrell is because I will try to amend for my mistake after that. But after our quarrell, I intended to go to your class apologise to you for what I had done. And secondly, I also intended to go to the toilet to wash my face to refresh a little, and 'release water at the same time' though I know that for girls, their best weapon is to cry(no offence to girls), but to me, on matter who cries, I will feel guilty as why can't I cheer the person up if that person is a friend of mine and why is that person crying. If disown me as a friend oak you feel better/happy then I will just let it. You may be not happy with of now and say 'You think people want to be your friend is it.'. I just a reply from deep inside your heart, I will silk be your friennp wel just be strangers. The above is dedicated to the person I offended during lunch time on 4th april.

Another friend of mine is at the 'losing' end, means I will lose her any minute on that day. This time is partially my fault too for not knowing the situation. I promised my lie that no one will know about this issue, however the person who know the incident, told someone else before telling me. And guessed what I promise my jie? I told her that nobody will know about this incident. Then problems occurred. My friend who told me about the incident told another girl about the incident before she told me. And the girl whom my friend said to went around spreading rumours, and she even changed the story by adding unnecessary information that are all not true. Then my jie was very sad. Sad ttm. She wanted to be away from this world. Haii. But a good thing is that she become optimistic, she won't care about the girl who had spread the rumour. And that girl is seriously very very very vicious! To my jie, on matter what happens, your di will be here to help out(:

Chocolate may allow you to have sugar rush/hyper-ness for that few minutes, but a lifetime happiness is the real thing that you should go for it. You already got len as your straight partner so you should go for it(: you've got your life, and I don't wish a good friend of be dragged into all my problems. Hahaha. And you got alot of friends that may be my enemy, so I don't want to put you in any spot. So yea. To my FOREVER GOOD FRIEND YUKI!(:

Emo, Sian, Sad N Still Sad! ;( ;( ;(

How to gain someone's trust? Is it that difficult? Or am I just not up to that type of standard? I want to gain the trust of the girl I like, but she just wouldn't want to believe that what I said is the truth ): I don't know what can I do next. I chose to hang on and i'm trying hard to gain your trust, at least I got a little of it already. My past is already history, no matter how long you want me to wait for Y, I won't wait as she already got a stead and we are good friends forever. I love you Zoee! Not anyone else but you. Maybe mushy to some people, but I don't care le. Its doesn't concern then much anyway. The final decision still lies in your hands.

Dedicated just for Z. M and Y are just friends to me. One is a friend, the other is a good friend. However the girl I like isn't them but you!

Will I Lose A Friend?

It happened on this monday, during lunch break that time. I was in Z's class playing the game called stress. But I quarrelled with him when I was being told to playing. That day I agree that my mood wasn't good cause of some personal problems. Then we started quarrelling, I said alot of things that shouldn't be said out. I'm very remorseful about what happened and what I said. Xx don't angry or sad already. I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry. Really sorry really sorry really sorry really sorry. Cheer up! I seek your forgiveness. Really. I don't wish to lose a friend just like that. Ke2 yi3 yuan2 liang4 wo3 mah? Xx, i'm sorry...

Ice-Cream Frenzy!

Went to school for my cca, then become the drum major, took charge of the whole squad. Hahaha. Then very fun, cause the normal thing they will do is to fall us in then everything become very boring, but I make then laugh! Lol! Did I did the right thing? I hope I did. Then went to bugis after that for project work. Meet at national library at bugis, then went to mac at the water fountain there. Ohya, I went to eat mac before I meet up with jesslyn and claudia teo. And I went back to the place again, but at a different place. Hahaha. So we want to start our work and end it fast too. But to our suprise, we did not bring the right book for reference. We need part 2 but I brought part 1. Lol! Joker will always be a joker(: Then jesslyn went to buy 1 chinese book, because she never buy the part 2 book. Luckily got jesslyn, if not today we do not need to do le. Hahaha. So when we are doing halfway, I went to buy ice-cream. Bought 2 cones ice cream, and 1 got fudge sundae. Lol. When reach home, I chiong for the toilet. Hahaha. Then went to eat dinner as its an important date for my family. While i'm eatinhz the crab, cut myself sia! Pain pain pain! But now okay le. Hahaha. Thats all le, nothing much. Still got something very important I have not say! I love Zoee! I miss Zoee too!): How how how? Lol. Hope that tomorrow is a monday, then can see you le! Hahaha